Many topics swirl around in my head on a daily basis while I pray for God’s direction on what to post next. For me, this has become more than a status update; it’s become more than bereaved-parents-dealing-with-grief-through-faith. This is where I can take a thought and bring it to life having been appointed by God to share it with you, bereaved or not. I use the word “appointed” because I feel called and not everyone is called to witness and share whether face to face or through writing, but I feel God has given me both of those gifts for a distinct purpose. My friends and family know this is not something that just came about after Tristan died, but I will say certain circumstances can light a fire. God has given each of us talents to be used to bring Him glory. For me, it’s always been there, I just wasn’t using it all the time.
It’s kind of like my treadmill. It’s right there in my office upstairs and even on days when I’m super busy and can’t seem to carve out time in the morning to workout, it’s still there at 5 pm, at 7 pm at 9 pm. I choose not to exercise on a crazy busy day even though I have the means to. I’ve always had the means to witness and write like this, and I used it a little, but now I’m essentially “running” on the treadmill.
Exercise has actually been the one thing that has brought me mental clarity when I needed it most. When I have worse days, I know it will do me good. “Worse” days are the ones where I really struggle. I feel like I have bad days and worse days. Exercise clears my mind, helps me focus and re-prioritize my thoughts and get through. Exercise releases endorphins which are hormones to make you feel better; free all-natural medicine! Writing and witnessing to others is medicine for my suffering.
Everyone has “stuff” going on in their lives that tips the happiness meter in the wrong direction at times. Some may be overwhelmed with work, a health issue, a packed schedule, financial concerns or their kids or spouse are driving them nuts and I think, I have all the same issues, I get it, then envy creeps in and I want to blow an air horn to get everyone’s attention to stay “STOP”! When you lose someone you love, all else fades away and you could care less about the things that made you so crazy before. My schedule lightened up when I suddenly didn’t have Tristan’s practice or games to attend; there is less laundry to do, one less plate to wash each night, one less mouth to feed.
Let my life be the perspective you need to take a minute to clear your mind of the things you think are making your life crazy. Clear your mind of the clutter that piles up in your head.
Lately work has got me frazzled. It’s just this crazy account and like all the projects I work on, they eventually come to an end and I get to start fresh on something new. One of the perks of being in Project Management! Wyatt’s in the same boat with an intense project for his entire organization that is launching soon. Add to that our DIY project: the lake house. What started off as a healthy distraction has had us working every weekend for the last 3 months. HGTV, you fooled me into thinking this stuff was easy!?
Without focus and a clear mind, it’s easy to stray from the path God has intended for us. There are millions of distractions and the devil just loves to see when we get too busy to attend to what’s important or are too frustrated to have a civil conversation, too upset to think straight. We’re completely distracted when we’re supposed to be focusing on something else. Happens to me ALL the time. I learned from someone this summer to count the breaths I breathe in and then double that count when I breathe out, then try to get to a larger number on the next breath. It works; it clears your head even if it’s just for a short while.
So. . . . . I exercise, I breathe, I read God’s word, I write, I pray, I spend time with friends and family, I work, I allow for downtime like a Netflix movie, a book or painting (walls, not canvas). I can lose track of time organizing a drawer or a closet or cleaning. Still, I can’t clear my mind of the loss we’ve suffered. I can’t shake the gaping hole in my life. For every emotion swirling in my head, I find God’s message to me in scripture “But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you”.
May your orange moment today be a moment of clarity.