I am gearing up for another weekend retreat with Sonflower Ministries! I just love all the excitement of seeing these ladies, meeting new people and bringing Christ into the lives of the attendees to help battle whatever it is that they are struggling with. We love on them and take care of their every need for a few days. It is hard work for the MANY women that come to serve, but, the retreat and it’s powerful force is not just for the attendees.
This will be my fourth retreat (3rd time serving). Each time I come away with something different. A lot of the time, my perspective shifts. My dialogue with God changes and becomes more focused on what is truly important in this life. I’ve said for a long time, everyone has a story. This retreat provides a glimpse into the lives of women of all walks of life and we are able to share a slice of our lives with them; the valleys we have been in, the mountains we’ve had to climb.
Sonflower has dramatically changed how I pray and how I speak to others about my faith. The co-founder, Mary Lucy Holliday, graciously wrote the foreword to my book! She and her husband, Paster Rae Holliday, have been such a wonderful addition to my life and have been right there next to me as I’ve climbed a treacherous mountain. They have picked me up when the valley swallowed me whole and for that I am forever grateful to this amazing couple.
I spoke at the Sonflower retreat in Nov 2017, as an attendee, sharing my story and Pay it Forward cards. When I finished, Mary Lucy said “this is YOUR ministry!” and it lit the fire I needed to do more with what we had started in Tristan’s memory. It was those four words that pushed me to take what I had poured out onto my keyboard and turn it into a book. It was those four words that prompted me to start orangemoments.org to continue to share my story and my faith with others. It is what I have learned from them through Bible studies, team meetings, and small get-togethers that has convinced me, I can always do more.
Yesterday I had a doozie of a day and spent my entire morning (7:30 am – 12 pm) at the dentist. Holy cotton-balls! I went in for an exam/x-rays as a new patient since my dentist had closed his office. They found a small crack in the back of one of my molars and advised, I needed a crown. What!? This was no glorious crown like the one promised me in Heaven! Doh! They were able to fit me in for my cleaning and the crown that morning and so I took care of all it right then and there, but what a long stretch.
I met some wonderful people and one of them made a comment about my orange nails, perfectly matched with my orange cross bracelet of course. “Is orange your favorite color?” she asked. “It is now” I said. I’d been keeping a copy of my book in my car and purse for times when I felt compelled to talk to someone. I told her I’d lost my son 27 months ago. “Orange was his favorite color” I explained. I had a copy of the book in my purse and put it on the counter as I explained what an orange moment was. My new dental friends said they would read it and I asked that they share it in the office. This is one of many amazing conversations the book has prompted me to have about my faith in the last 2 weeks. Some conversations have been started up by co-workers. We get on our conference calls and we knock out our work, all without ever knowing what is going on in each others’ lives. It has been so nice to get to know the personal side of individuals I’ve worked with for years. People have opened up to me just from reading the book’s summary on Linked In or Amazon. It has opened doors and I am walking through them.
I continue to pray to God “What now?” and I still pray for wisdom asking every day “How long, Lord?”
How much more time until He comes back, to rescue us from our pain? What do I do now?
I confirm over and over, I am His servant. I will do what you need me to even though what you’ve asked me to endure is more painful than I can handle. Each time someone asks me about our circumstances, I’m speaking to them about how my faith in God saved me. I am letting my guard down to allow Jesus to speak through me until the day I can stand before Him face to face. I am waiting and listening for God’s direction, trusting His plan, His timing, even when it takes me way outside my comfort zone.
As for a book update, I am now on both Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble now! The eBook is still to come, along with a marketing trailer to help spread the word. I felt tremendously vulnerable as the book reached the web. Comments, texts and even a few cards/letters continue to come in and I am so gracious for all the kind words, it puts all the evil one’s negative feedback to rest. I’ve asked everyone who has purchased a copy to eventually share it with someone else. My goal with this whole project was reach; reach as many people as I can to allow them to find HOPE in all things through a belief in Jesus and His eternal kingdom.